My name is Tom, and I am professionally terrible at adulting.
The Great Pancake Incident
It started when I decided to impress my date by making breakfast. How hard could it be, right? You mix ingredients, you cook them, you eat them. Simple.
I did not anticipate that my non-stick pan was, in fact, very sticky. Or that I would set off the fire alarm. Or that my neighbor would arrive mid-disaster with a fire extinguisher and the absolute certainty that I was committing arson in my apartment.
My date never showed up. Apparently, the smoke visible from the street was a turnoff.
But here's the thing about being catastrophically bad at things—you eventually get good stories out of it. And that's basically the same as success, right?